Tips To Help Moms That Work From Home

Becoming A Working Mother

Are you a mother working from home and struggling to come out on top? Well here are a few tips that might help you get back that extra burst of energy you need to cope with balancing a career, juggling family obligations, helping to pay for all the bills, maintain a good relationship with all the family members and organise and make decisions for your kids.

It may seem like you never have enough time, but with careful planning, even you, the supermom can manage to glean a few special moments in the day for yourself!

Time For Work. Time For Play.

Balance and communication are essential to good time management and undue stress can do no good. When something needs to be attended to at home, make sure your work knows about it, rather than trying to cope with that and your workload at the same time which could result in either one suffering. Similarly, at home, sometimes explaining to your children – even small ones – that you really have to do your work now so you can play with them later, can give you that window of time needed to get something urgent finished.

Allocate Your Work

The saying “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” was never truer than when it referred to moms working from home! Make sure you schedule in time for your work, your household duties, your kids, and YOU! Stick to your timetable as you would if you were going out to work and you’ll be amazed at how everything slots into the day. If you can’t switch off from your work at some point, then it will begin to affect your relationship with your kids and possibly the rate at which you work. So give yourself a break from it – even if it is only to make some lunch or do the dishes!

No is No

Don’t be bullied into thinking you have to be on-call 24 hours a day 7 days a week, just because you can be. Make sure that if you have a boss you report to, he or she knows that at a certain time or day, you are unavailable. Equally, make sure your family knows when you are working, you are not to be disturbed. Of course, this becomes harder with small children, however even small children can manage to be quiet if entertained with a favourite set of toys and a few words of explanation.

Time well spent

Enjoy the time you have with your family, even if what you’re doing isn’t that exciting. A playful attitude, with lots of laughs, smiles, and hugs, can make for a wonderful time with your kids – and can make mundane chores so much easier to get through. Set yourself an idea of what you want to accomplish with your family and make it happen! No-one said quality time was only available at the park!

Me Time

Just as a car that is neglected cannot run, or a house neglected cannot provide shelter, you as a person, cannot provide the reliability your kids need if you don’t look after yourself. Make sure you timetable in some “me” time at least a few times every week. In this way, you’ll be refreshed and ready to handle another week and less likely to lose patience with your kids due to tiredness or irritability.

Do not feel guilty

Working mothers perpetually feel guilty for not being with their children more. However, it’s important to remember that part of being a mother is also ensuring that they have enough financial support to maintain their existence. Being a stable member of the family on which they can rely is nothing to feel guilty about. Just remember that when you do spend time with them, that it must be quality time without distraction – then not only will it be perfectly fine for your kids, but you’ll enjoy it more too!

haiti earthquake

Hi ladies,

It is on a sombre note that I write this post following the tragic news of the Haiti earthquake.

It is easy in our busy lives to become almost immune to the pain and suffering of others in far away countries. Natural disasters and catastrophic events are relayed on the news daily, but easily turned off or ignored.

However it is impossible to ignore the sheer enormity of the devastation in Haiti. I confess I have deliberately made myself watch the more graphic of the youtube videos, news reports and footage. I want to realise the full extent of the tragedy in order to spur myself on to actually do something about it. Yes, of course I will join the masses who have text the word HAITI to 90999 to give my $10. But surely I should do more!

My own children are so lucky. I am so lucky. My day-to-day stresses include juggling a busy workload, taxiing my kids around, getting the phone bill sorted on time, and staying on my diet. But these people…

I can’t fathom what it must be like to have no food, no water, no home, no medical attention, no education…the list goes on. For some, they have lost their entire family in one go – many just small children. How do you cope with that? It has really made me think.

But is thinking all I can do? Further research online has led to the discovery that Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, constantly besieged by catastrophe and a variety of natural disasters. Their major downfall is lack of education and lack of sustainability. And yet, they persevere. What courage!

And then we look at how the world is reacting to this tragedy where there are between 50,000 and 100,000 feared dead and an even greater amount injured. The world is responding! Even Cuba opened up its airspace to US aircraft so they could transport the injured faster back to mainland USA, which I found amazing!

Makeshift field hospitals are being set up and finally getting to treat people and every once in a while someone is rescued – even now, more than 2 days after the earthquake happened!

For more detailed accounts of what’s going on, CNN has regular updates along with links to bloggers based in Haiti who are each relating their own version of events.

It’s incredible…and hard to comprehend the extent to which these poor people will have to suffer before even a sense of normality returns.

If you haven’t already helped, please do…

Crisis-Proof Christmas shopping

2009 will go down in my personal history as the most rewarding – but also the most challenging. However, as the saying goes: it is not about the way you fall, but about the way you dust yourself off and get back on the horse. In that respect 2009 made me a lot more grateful for the things I have, my family, my social life, my friends, my health – my lifestyle. And it made me a lot more resourceful.

One of those resources has been the internet, I have become a savvy shopper, and I would like to share some of my advice with you regarding Christmas shopping online. As we are all on a budget of some sort, chances are that you already have a good idea how much you can spend (or not) and what gifts you would like for your family and friends to receive.

Now is a great time to start planning. I mean after all, as soon as the Halloween stuff is taken down November 1, it will be Jingle-Bells, Jingle-Bells everywhere – and with a bit of foresight you can avoid the panic attacks, and enjoy the experience.

Most of your favorite stores are available for shopping online.                            So make yourself a nice cuppa joe or brew (that’s English English for tea),          get comfy – and start browsing.

There are a lot of super holiday offers out there in cyberspace already, because pre-sales figures allow for stores to calculate their buying power – and therefore to negotiate the best prices. All the reputable stores will offer online lay-away programs and pre-selected shipping dates, gift packaging and pre-order for the most wanted items. Lay-aways can be paid by credit card – but I recommend to pay by secure check payments, in order to prevent the Xmas spending hangover. That way you can keep track of how much you spend until the holidays in real time – and you can always cancel a check if you feel you have been mischarged.

By shopping online, you can compare prices without having to drive all over the county, and be confident to get a good bargain. If you are worried about not ordering the right stuff: go to the shop first, touch and feel the merchandise, write down the article and number – and go back to your couch to order. It may feel funny at first – but trust me: once you see the price differences on some of the items, you, too will become a believer!

It always pays off to take a peek at auction sites, because by cutting out the middle man, many new items that are sold directly are available at much better prices than in the store down the road. Not everything available at auction sites is second hand. It may not seem very supportive to the economy to cut out the middle man, but many of those people who become sellers online had to re-invent themselves due to personal crisis, and in my experience are usually a lot more enthusiastic about their products and their customer service than the associate on the payroll.

By the time December comes around you have got everything already safely bagged – and maybe you will even have some money left to give our bingo site www.bingobeez.com a whirl, whilst you are comfortably seated on your couch to enjoy the holdiays.

Now that I have inspired you – I hope you have a lot of fun shopping.

Remember the 80s?

I have moved around a bit since the 80s, and in the process slowly but surely let go of all my outdated fashion relics – including that cobalt-blue, silky-soft suede leather jacket with the oversized gold buttons and Arnold Schwarzenegger outline I so loved.

But my Mom should be ecstatic – because this fall those Arnie shoulder pads are back! Yup.

Knowing Mom, she still has got them all, along with her pleaded leggings from the 70s, and her furry handmuff she wore when she was pregnant with me – but that story needs to be told some other day.

Shoulderpads are those monstrous extensions that make even the tiniest women look like medieval warriors, and I am afraid, ladies: they are going to be the dernier crie, along with lace-up ankle boots, plateau peep toes and fringed hippie boots. Next thing you know, it will be ruffled, maxi-length plaid skirts with petticoats and fringed leather jackets, and we will all be caught in a time warp.

Workaholics leaving their isolated cubicles on Madison Avenue to have a smoke will think the elevator took them back in time instead of just downstairs.

I don’t know about you, but I am not one of those “Rihanna”-built petites, and was thrilled to see figure-flattering swinging fabrics return for the summer – but this “outburst of creativity” is going to make me look like a walking refrigerator, and to me smells like recycling of ideas at a time of tight budgeting. Somebody just opened his or her drawer and took out one of their sketching pads from the pre-Gulf War era. If they start teasing hair to create the big coifs again, cementing them with hairspray, I will go and complain to Al Gore.

As far as those pads – I for one would rather see my man of choice in a delicious V-shape, so I guess I will just wear my plateau peep toes with my boot cut jeans and my fringed leather jacket I bought at a country hoe-down, and create my own trend, until the fashion gurus come up with something that does not make us voluptio-licious women look like Joan Collins in her Denver Clan heydays.

Halloween – A night to remember….

Here I was, October 31 1997 – my first official Halloween in the USA. I had just bought my house in Florida, in Venice on the “quieter” Gulf Coast of the State – quieter, because it was a favorite with retirees.

I am a sucker for all things dress-up – and after years of longingly watching Halloween being depicted in movies and on TV, I was going to seriously take part this year! Neighbors beware!

Months ago, I had bought 2 CDs with very ghoulish, bone chilling Halloween tracks: weeping chainsaws, fog-muffled cries in imaginary nights, giggling zombies – you get the idea.

1 week leading up to “D-day”, I paid my local Publix a visit and made the stockholders at Mars and Haribo companies a bunch of extremely happy campers by investing a dump load of cash in about half a ton of “good” e.g. “quality” candy – “I am not giving away the cheap stuff, or recycled Easter bunnies, no sirree!” I argued with my now ex-husband, intending to enter the Halloween extravaganza that was sure to evolve any day in my neighborhood, with a luxurious splash. These kids would secretly vote me their favorite house, and I would become the legend of the tales the local trick-or-treaters would pass on for generations.

My last stop was the costume store – a wonderfully horrific witches outfit, in witch (typo intended) I could finally live out my calling in full regalia.

During the final stages of “Operation Halloween”, I festooned my driveway, portico and garage with fake spider webs, battery driven moving spiders and snakes, exchanged all exterior light bulbs for black lights to set the mood. But the piece de resistance, which would make all the neighbors green with envy, was my soundstage: I had parked both our cars out of sight around the block, moved all useless rubbish to the sides to provide for the best sound cavity, and relocated our huge stereo speakers in the middle of the garage floor. I had cut new cables and made a custom installation – obviously before my now ex-husband got home that day. I raised the garage door with the remote about 10 inches and stopped it, just enough for the horror sounds to carry into the driveway and our quiet neighborhood drive.

Extremely excited and pleased with her installation, the witch retired to her armchair ready to peak from behind the drawn dining room curtains to await the onslaught of trickers and treaters between huge salad bowls of delicious (and quite expensive) chocolate candy.

And then – nothing!

Cars would pull up, doors would open – just to close again and drive on. The small groups of (grand) kids from the neighborhood walked along the other side with their parents. One teenage boy actually rang the doorbell – his get up consisting of the lapel of his Dad’s leather jacket being propped up Elvis style, renditioning a brief “Trick or Treat”. I could not help but suspect that here was a guy that was suffering from the munchies taking advantage of the situation: free chocolate.

I was devastated. Not one child came up to my house.

Finally I walked outside to take a look, just to run into one of my younger parenting neighbors walking her dog, who let me know that “your house is decorated so nicely, but my girls were so scared by the screams coming from your garage, I could not get them to go anywhere near your door”.

My scary installation had worked. It had literally scared all the kids away.

So it came that the sad witch went to get her car, filled all seats of her family van with salad bowls of candy, and ventured out through town, for hours handing out handfuls of very nice candy bars to all the kids in town, with the ghoulish CD playing on the car stereo, very quietly in the background.

Simon Cowell – definitely has got the X-Factor…

…depending on what the X, an arithmetic variable, stands for.

I was never one to watch American Idol much while still living in the US. But now that I am back living in Europe, with an Englishman no less (!), it is hard to evade the national UK tv craze that is called “X-Factor“ . The idea is the same: youngsters have a ridiculously hyped-up sing-off talent contest over the course of several weeks, while being publicly exploited down to their rawest emotions by the producers – the leading man, of course, being Simon Cowell.

The entire structure of production rights, contracts, live appearances and judges panels is very complicated – let’s just put it in simple terms: the prodigal son, who managed to get himself fired from working in a mailroom,  who eventually got a job thanks to Daddy big bucks, and despite several bankcruptcies along the way (some of which had him move back in with Mom and Dad on several occasions) – finally struck it lucky.

Simon Cowell is now listed with a net worth of $200m, and a yearly salary  of a jolly $50m. Why the hell the man only wears a white or grey T-Shirt (alternatingly) on TV, is beyond me – probably because he really has no friends who watch out for him. That may be in part, because he professes to love his Guitar Hero game more than being around people. Simon admits to using Botox, and being anti-social, miserable and depressed.  Hard to believe, if you have that much money to brush-up your Karma and your mood.

So what is it that attracts people to continue watching Mr. Mean break spirits and burst bubbles on live television? Is it because he dares to say what others think? Is it because we are all so well raised, that watching someone being harsh and rude gives us a sense of liberation by just watching it on the screen?

Simon continues to be the reason why people tune in by the thousands, holding their breaths to listen to his – mostly pain-inducing and dream-crushing verdict.

In his biography, Simon states:

“There has to come a point when I will step down from being on camera and remain behind the scenes because you can’t keep doing this forever…I think by [the end of my contract] that the public will be sick to death of me anyway and it will be time to go.”

Well, I for one, am counting the days, Simon, counting the days indeed…..

 

Soy – a bean in limbo

Soybeans and soybean meal have been traded on the world stock markets almost as vigorously as pork bellies or frozen concentrated orange juice. But not only are they a hot commodity on the financial markets. Soybeans have been hailed as the natural alternative to synthetic hormones in a hormone replacement therapy (HRT), after for example a hysterectomy in younger and during menopause in more mature women.

 

For decades, alternative health practitioners have cautioned patients away from using manufactured hormones, like the well known brand Premarin, as those products were accused of improving the breeding grounds for breast cancer cells in women. Soy, containing natural estrogen supposedly lowers the risk of breast cancer, while alleviating the symptoms of menopause almost as effectively as their synthetically created counterparts.

 

Recently, however, those accusations and praises have been discussed again in the media. While natural soy may be the healthier alternative, a woman would have to take much higher doses to accomplish the same effects as with synthetic HRT – while the estrogen still causes the same negative side effects, no matter whether it comes from a natural or synthetic source.

 

Hot flushes and mood swings may be reduced – but the risk of developing breast cancer remains the same using natural soy products.

 

I speak from experience: I had a hysterectomy at age 29, and although I did not miss my “monthly visitor” one bit, it took me quite a while to adjust my body to the trauma. This is my very personal opinion – and I encourage you to discuss it with your OB-Gyn or GP: After using Premarin, which caused me incredible migraines and weight gain, I decided to use a natural supplement that contains soy in a good enough amount to make me feel well. I changed my diet to a healthier one of more fiber and vegetables, less caffeine and refined sugars, which helped a lot with the mood swings. I added an hour of walking as my daily (well, almost daily) exercise. That hour not only gets some fresh air into my lungs, a rosy tinge on my cheeks and keeps my weight in check – it also allows me to have some me-time.

I enjoy that hour of freedom, listening to an audio book, music or myself singing quite loudly – all the while knowing I am walking to protect my bones against the impending osteoporosis at the same time.

 

My family happily misses me for that one hour, understanding the alternative is bitchy mom.

 

The only symptom I kept having to fight with were the sleepless nights – which drained me and made me want to forget all of the above, just sit in the corner instead, cry and eat chocolate.

 

After a couple of years of shopping around, I finally found a really compassionate OB-Gyn, who was interested and helpful. I now use an estrogen gel that I spread on my arm at night, and if I am having a particularly witchy day, I spread it on a bit more generously. The nicest part about the gel: it brought back my appetite – and I am not talking chocolate now, ladies!

 

For me, the best combination to work your way through menopause or menopausal symptoms: maintaining an educated mind to keep on top of medical progress, housed in a healthy body, enjoying a lifestyle that includes some moderate exercise and balanced eating habits – and a doctor that cares.

Back to School 2009

Cannot help myself, but have to take the best bit of news and put it right up front: baggy oversized pants are out. Not only are they out, but un-cool, soo yesterday, dead. I don’t know about you – but they were the one thing that drove me, the self-professed non-fashionista, crazy. One more teenage bum exposed by a pair of fake-label Calvin nickers and wanna-be rapper pair of jeans wrapped somewhere around the knees and I would have been close to throwing an adult tantrum in plain daylight. Good fashion riddance.

They are history, because this year tight fitting, regular boot-cut jeans are the new trend. And did I mention: micro-mini and even mini will get replaced  by mid-thigh skirts. I feel sorry for all the girls having to replace their wardrobe now, because if the trend had gone the other way, at least they could have cut off extra material on the bottom. Not so.

Teenage fashion trends will go back to the 80s, when recession and economy dictated budgeting and small expenses. Skirts are longer and flowing, jeans fitting, tops and accessories in metallic shades, and jackets for girls are body hugging high cuts, preferably in leather.

A cool idea is being offered by the people at Converse: on their website you can design your own high top sneakers, from sole to fabric to color and even add custom embroidery. Nice idea for Christmas – if you live below the Mason-Dixon, anyway.

Along with the style goes the hair fashion: long, straight is out and messy is in. Volume is he word, a bit disheveled with an just-out-of-bed design, that works best when based on a good haircut.

In short – we are getting back to some kind of normalcy. The times of bad boy rapper images, hood caps, bling and scantily-clad teenage girls are over. Thank the fashion gods for that. Creativity is key this year – and I like the idea of gaining back a bit of creative freedom to create my own style instead of being dictated by a trend. I take a messy head over an exposed bum any day.

Don’t forget your friends with kids

Most of us have been there: one day you are a single chick, sipping a glass of vino tinto on a Saturday evening, watching the evening news while glossing on a coat of nail polish and waiting for the curlers to dry – all in preparation for a fun night out on the town with the girls, the boyfriend, the gang. No need for haste, as Sunday we are off, time for a long lay-in followed by brunch at the corner café and maybe a relaxing stroll.

And then, before you know it, Saturday nights out with the girls turn into staying in and watching some prime time tv, spread out on the couch in the old sweat suit that is covered in baby milk stains, trying to find a position to rest your aching feet and back without falling asleep, eating cold lunch leftovers from a Tupperware container. Welcome to parenthood.

In 2006, there were 10.4 million single mother families and 2.5 single-father families recorded by the government of the USA. Why should you care? Because friends with kids need friends, too. There are many changes in life once you become a family. 99% of those changes are great, enriching, fulfilling experiences. The 1% that isn’t so great is the fact that your single or non-parenting friends seem to drop off the earth as if you had developed an ugly rash. Now, that you need a drink and a chat outside familydom more than ever, it is hard to find those people in your life who are happy to relate the latest gossip to you the “outsider” – and who are willing to listen to your latest news on natural remedies against teething pains.

I became a mom 2.5 years ago. It is by far the single most amazing thing that has happened to me, and I would not trade it for the world. But I cherished that night my boyfriend arranged for me to get out with my old friends, who in their considerate wisdom had kept notes on the latest office “In breading”, and the best websites to buy custom heels so I can now shop online for a pair of really sexy heels to wear with my sweat pants on Saturday night.

My point is: free your parenting friends from family chores for a night, brace yourself for a round of boring baby banter, find the right words to end it – and then go ahead and catch up. Friendships don’t need to die when a baby is born. And let me tell you one more thing, even at the risk that you have already heard it a tiring million times before: motherhood – or fatherhood for that matter – is the hardest job in the world.

So go ahead, check in on your parenting friends and spread the love.

Living Green

Bacon and eggs for breakfast, along with a strong coffee – the smell of that will get me out of bed in a heartbeat, much more than that of homemade granola and green tea, which does not really offer any enticing smells. So much for my eating green. I could never quite understand the whole muesli movement.

But now that I am a mom, I have become more conscious of the world around me, and how much of it I will leave behind for my son to enjoy.

So we had a solar system installed at our home.

With governments encouraging going green by giving subventions to home owners as well as funds to enable banks to offer low interest financing plans to afford the equipment, the purchase ist he easy bit.

What an eye-opener it is once you start running your home on solar power!

It is amazing, how many gadgets and gizmos we use without giving their energy consumption a second thought: driveway lights, decorative lighting, stand-by lights on household gadgets and audio/ video equipment, Nintendo and cell phone charge, a half-empty freezer, using a blow dryer and the iron, the oven,  the dishwasher. 

We have become very conscious of the big nono’s like leaving the lights on all over the house, using the clothes dryer in the midst of summer, keeping the A/C running even when we leave the house.

The part I like best is the fact, that whenever we produce more power than we actually need, the power supply company buys the surplus power back from us!

I know what you are thinking: we walk around smelly, in dirty and wrinkled clothing, dishes are piling up in the kitchen sink, and we sit around every night by candlelight playing board games. No! I am still very much into my comfortable and slightly spoilt lifestyle….

But we are now making sure that the dishwasher is completely loaded, that we have the lights on only in the rooms we are actually using, we have raised the A/C thermostat by 3 degrees, dry our laundry on the outside line whenever the weather permits, use power-saver light bulbs – and I now crunch my hair instead of using the blow dryer and the (aerosol loaded) hairspray…which just happens to be the trend this fall.

Meanwhile who knows – you may be using my surplus solar power.